Film review: ‘GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE’ by Nick Gardener from ‘Built For Speed’

The recent Hollywood Godzilla and King Kong films have been enormous, lumbering, jokey, CGI onslaughts that have offered some impressive spectacle and monster porn but (smatterings of techno jargon aside) seem to have mostly been aimed at 12-year-olds. Despite a distinct lack of cinematic nutrition, they’ve been successful enough to spawn multiple sequels and now we have the latest effort, the awkwardly named Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire.  For better or worse, this is possibly the most ridiculous one so far as sci fi meets monster muscle meets kooky spiritualism.

Here, in the aftermath of events seen in the last film, Godzilla vs Kong, our hirsute buddy Mr Kong has seemingly retired to his subterranean abode known as Hollow Earth.  Godzilla, however, has hung around to battle various crab monsters that threaten humanity.  Both the iconic beasties and some token human characters, including the secretive Monarch organisation’s scientist Dr Ilene Andrews (Rebecca Hall) and her psychic daughter Jia (Kaylee Hottle), are forced to confront a new menace, the nasty giant ape The Scar King who appears to be some sort of slave master and threatens Kong’s world and ours.

The New Empire is gleefully dumb cinema and any pretence at coherent plot evaporates in a haze of pummelling ape fists and Godzilla laser breath about halfway through.  There’s all sorts of sci fi bollocks about the Hollow Earth and anti-gravity and something about the seemingly magical culture of Hollow Earth’s ancient human inhabitants but what this film really amounts to is a giant monster smack down.  The royal rumble between Kong, Godzilla and The Scar King is moderately enjoyable in its scope and bone crunching vigour.  Some of the CGI is a bit dodgy but it looks better on the big screen than in the trailer.  The site of Godzilla smashing his way through the world’s major cities, including Rome and Cairo and curling up for a snooze in the Colosseum is, at least for a while, a guilty pleasure.  After what seems like the millionth scene of a giant creature being flung through the air and obliterating the world’s cultural monuments, though, adult audiences may start to seriously question whether this is a useful way to spend their precious time.

There’s almost nothing here for those who see character development as vital to a film and it’s pretty much a lost cause for any human actor trying to establish themselves in this sort of movie.  The people are simply there to squabble, disgorge exposition or attempt some quirky humour.  Fine actor that she is, though, Rebecca Hall still manages to provide a credible anchor for the film.  The attempt to make Dan Stevens a wild and crazy ‘action man/ party animal’ feels way over the top and a little irritating.  Brian Tyree Henry’s comedy relief routine as the monster conspiracy theorist and podcaster Bernie also becomes tiresome. Both these characters feel like they would be more at home in one of the recent Jumanji films.

There are some hints about a broader Kong/Godzilla history and its place in the Hollow Earth mythology but these just seem to be tantalising crumbs to fuel interest in likely sequels.

This is a huge serve of fast-food cinema that will probably satiate die-hard fans’ monster destruction fetishes but will leave others feeling bilious.

Nick’s rating: **1/2

Genre: Action/ Adventure/ Sci Fi/ Monster.

Classification: M.

Director(s): Adam Wingard.

Release date: 28th Mar 2024.

Running time: 115 mins.

Reviewer: Nick Gardener can be heard on “Built For Speed” every Friday night from 8-10pm on 88.3 Southern FM.

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